As some of you may know I just returned from a four month deployment to the middle east. If you are imagining me a war hero you are sadly mistaken, as I have never seen combat or been issued a weapon more than a mettle stick and a trusty whistle.
My job in the desert was not to work, but to watch people work. Boy was I good at it, and watch them work I did. You see in the middle east the military hires local companies to work for dollars a day to do anything from build our housing, to clean our shiters, and since they use locals there's no telling if there are terrorists among them. So they put people like me with no real combat experience in a group of twenty or so third country nationals (TCNs) with my trusty stick and whistle to guard the interests of the installation (When I asked for a bobby hat they replied only with a condescending stare).
I became quite good a crossword puzzles and sudoku (HiYa!) and arguing about who would win in a fight between CatWoman and WonderWoman (Insert your hero/heroin here).
On a day to day basis we interacted with the workers, but mostly the foreman. One foreman I worked with was an Egyptian man who spoke nearly perfect English, he would smuggle things to us from the city like McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts (A cold cheeseburger has never tasted so good in my life). One day he was telling me about his niece and he showed me a picture (she was very pretty) So I jokingly asked him if I could marry her and take her home. He then began making real wedding arrangements, asking me if I would convert to Islam, if she would live in the states, and if we could get married in Egypt. By this point I assumed my sarcastic nature in the original question escaped him, so I played along (I was bored). After much deliberation we decided it just wouldn't work because I was a Wiccan (I'm not Wiccan by the way) and it just wouldn't work out. Sorry Mom and Dad, no souvenir Egyptian grand children for you.
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